When i think of you

I go to the beach a lot sitting on a rock with the wind on my ears the smell of the ocean i think of you i remember feeling you inside me kicking in the hot summer day i use to take fresh water baths to cool down and every time you use to be all over the place i spend all summer sleeping in the couch and i use to watch  baby story  eat cherries and green apples and peanut butter wondering about your face and then i sow you oh to hold you like that first time to hold you and never let go of you to feel your heart like that very first time i wish that things would not have happened the way they did but they did  and I'm sorry for not being in my right mind for trusting people i nearly knew with your care  for not being able to get you back home n matter how hard and many times for nor being able to tell you how much i love you and how much you mean to me i try to see why God let this happen what he is trying to teach us sometimes i try to stand back and look at the grand plan and i still don't see it yet.


I love you baby boy i want you to know that.                                     Xoxo nom)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I hope you wonder

Image
I was watching the Tangled movie with your little sister again when I realize how close is this story to our story. Rapunzel was taken from her parents by mother Gothel for her own vane reasons keeping her away from her parents look away in a tower telling her not to wonder. Her parents in a effort and hope of ever finding her daughter send thousands of lanterns up to the sky every year on her birthday hopping one day returns. As Rapunzel ages she wonders and in her subconscious she knows something  is not right she tries not to question mother Gothel  but she still needs to know about the lanterns and why every year exactly on her birthday they light up the sky. I hope you wonder my baby boy I hope you do, I hope you can see even all you know is her that you have a mother that misses you and can't give up in finding YOU one day. In this years I have been trying to be re-united with you I have try so many times and fall so many times but there is a famous quote by Gail Ly...
Read more

It's been a very long time

 It has been a very long time since I have written anything here and is not because I didn't write anything. There are several drafts saved up here that are just not posted. There have been so many changes since the last time I wrote to you. Right after your birthday this past year, my sister called me to let me know Mom was sick in the hospital non-responsive. Little that I know September is going to get more painful for me. When my sisters call, they tell me Mom got some kind of infection that they cut not pinpoint to where the infection was located. Mom had been unconscious by the time she had arrived at the hospital and without eating for days. I book a flight to CT., for the very next day to go and be with her, she became responsive by the time I was landed in Washington airport and i talk to her facetime while waiting for my next flight to Hartford, everything looks like she was improving so i stay that night with your brother Jonathan and his family. The next morning, I pick...
Read more
Image
This is how this narcissistic lady work she block me from calling her so I can't make contact she keep my child life hidden  then she resurface to try to make me feel guilty of not caring to know about him to let me know something is wrong with him (and is my fault all of it ) crazy 
Read more