Waiting for Willmael Delgado

 My wish for this year to have the opportunity  to ask you have I done anything that hurt you?   What i can do to make you want you to see me and your family? and What you will like me to change to make this work for you?   What will you Willmael will like to see happen so we can built a relationship? I want you to see in your heart and seek to this answers and any others you may have to sit down and listen to know what Willmael thinks about everything that is going on and how we can work to make it better i wish that 2015 brings all the answers to this questions and any others you may have.....                                                                                                           ...

Waiting for you Willmael Delgado : Well the Christmas have passed and the new year is... : Christmas are over and  it was like other Christmas are one of the most overwhelming moments of the year where anything can set the waterfal...

Christmas are over and  it was like other Christmas are one of the most overwhelming moments of the year where anything can set the waterfalls on I avoid songs, conversations cut not avoid the walking thru the boys toys section I wanted to know so bad what will you like and think how I will delivered to you without dealing with what the judge said having no contact but even happy songs like all I want for Christmas with a up beat made me cry is hard to keep a tray face when Josh ask if I had know about you this season him hoping to get to see his baby  brother a nut goes in my throat before answering no and his head goes down I think I was not the only one being robbed of being with you brothers, sister, aunts, uncles and grandparents where too there is this hole family who got robbed of a special lil boy who ask for you and miss you or not yet had the chance to even meet you and enjoy you as you are. You are very miss not in the occasions that i write to you here  but ev...

As the days of the Christmas approach my heart sink down into a quiet mode I know I say trout the year how much I miss you but if you only knew the felling in my heart you u understand that there are not words to express what my heart been feeling since May 31 2004 but I have to keep my head up and keep my prayer for you I believe my God will give me an answer I believe he hears a mother prayers and he knows all that is in my heart well my son I wish you a merry Christmas have a bless time I will keep you in my prayers I will keep you in my heart love mom

I'm sitting here remembering the first Christmas you where not with us,  you where one year old and moths had pass since I sow you last on your birthday to all I know you where still in Puerto Rico because according to your grandma's her father was sick and she was still there and considering moving to the island to take care of him with me that didn't sit well to beginning with was the fact that custody was only given to her so I can get economic help since Josh was a cap baby your father was not helping supporting you the only help I feel I had was your grandmother and knowing I wanted to end that guardianship she say she was in P.R. I don't believe she was there all that time, neither where you was supposed to move out of state all this was happening while I was in what the therapist call the perfect storm I was in an abusive relationship with deep post partum depression isolated from friends and family and tacking advice from people that only wanted to take my child...

This is the time where I smile and cry when my heart rises and falls and rises again they say God hit you with one hand and caresses with the other hand well I'm waiting for his merciful hand to help us get health for this beating I miss you my boy you are in my hearts I wish I can show you but until you are ready I be here waiting love you mom