Well the Christmas have passed and the new year is at the horizon

Christmas are over and  it was like other Christmas are one of the most overwhelming moments of the year where anything can set the waterfalls on I avoid songs, conversations cut not avoid the walking thru the boys toys section I wanted to know so bad what will you like and think how I will delivered to you without dealing with what the judge said having no contact but even happy songs like all I want for Christmas with a up beat made me cry is hard to keep a tray face when Josh ask if I had know about you this season him hoping to get to see his baby  brother a nut goes in my throat before answering no and his head goes down I think I was not the only one being robbed of being with you brothers, sister, aunts, uncles and grandparents where too there is this hole family who got robbed of a special lil boy who ask for you and miss you or not yet had the chance to even meet you and enjoy you as you are. You are very miss not in the occasions that i write to you here  but every day I wake up every night when I lay to sleep and I between in every lil thing and in my dreams you are a part of me as I'm a part of you that special bond that started with a flounder and growth with the pain it will go with me until my last breath I love you baby blue as you are always     

                                          love mom

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