is not easy to deal with the feelings

For a while now I have been felling a little better, I smile more I'm sad less and my fear and depression have gone down Yes I say depression that sad feeling that feel like you can never get out of like quick sand. Because yes I have a life and things are good but when you always wondering about how your child is doing what he is feeling and missing you have had me drawing in sorrows is not hard to find myself that way,some other days I'm mad at myself, at my mistakes that cost me so much. some days it when numb and I walk like a zombie not concentrating and nothing and never the less the emotional eating trying to feel better. But now I have not had a crying spell in weeks and even do I feel sad when I think of how you doing and how much I miss you it doesn't over take me in a eternal gloom. I have pick up books and read them  I have stop eating when I'm sad , anxious or angry. I feel with more energy not dragging my feed in a vague effort to keep going with the flow of the day. I have become more organize and my daily routines I know i'm not a 100% but i'm getting there but this have been the roller coaster ride I had been living since what it seen for ever. But God is good he gives me strain to keep going to keep waiting I know he will answer my prayers I know he knows my hearth and he have seen all that we been to so i will keep you in my prayers i will keep waiting and never the less i will always Love you no matter what and here for you and i can wait to listen to you to what you want from our relationship to how you feel to what  i have to do to make it work I don't know why you don't want to see me but maybe one day in the future you can tell me for now I just wait and pray I have faith                                                                                                         Love Mom