Waiting for Willmael Delgado

For a while now I have been felling a little better, I smile more I'm sad less and my fear and depression have gone down Yes I say depression that sad feeling that feel like you can never get out of like quick sand. Because yes I have a life and things are good but when you always wondering about how your child is doing what he is feeling and missing you have had me drawing in sorrows is not hard to find myself that way,some other days I'm mad at myself, at my mistakes that cost me so much. some days it when numb and I walk like a zombie not concentrating and nothing and never the less the emotional eating trying to feel better. But now I have not had a crying spell in weeks and even do I feel sad when I think of how you doing and how much I miss you it doesn't over take me in a eternal gloom. I have pick up books and read them  I have stop eating when I'm sad , anxious or angry. I feel with more energy not dragging my feed in a vague effort to keep going with the flow ...

It been a little while since i write to you here a little longer than usual i have sit down and stare at the screen but wrote nothing thinking if you know I'm waiting here to Love you with all this love i have for you to listen to all the things you haven't say to me i can't give up you are always on my prayers you are always in my thoughts i can't forget about you is like forgetting a part of me of my life you are  very significant in my live. When you are ready to communicated i be here ready to listen to what you have to say. I love you nothing will change that                                                       Love MOM

Waiting for you Willmael Delgado : I hope you wonder : I was watching the Tangled movie with your little sister again when I realize how close is this story to our story. Rapunzel was taken ...

I was watching the Tangled movie with your little sister again when I realize how close is this story to our story. Rapunzel was taken from her parents by mother Gothel for her own vane reasons keeping her away from her parents look away in a tower telling her not to wonder. Her parents in a effort and hope of ever finding her daughter send thousands of lanterns up to the sky every year on her birthday hopping one day returns. As Rapunzel ages she wonders and in her subconscious she knows something  is not right she tries not to question mother Gothel  but she still needs to know about the lanterns and why every year exactly on her birthday they light up the sky. I hope you wonder my baby boy I hope you do, I hope you can see even all you know is her that you have a mother that misses you and can't give up in finding YOU one day. In this years I have been trying to be re-united with you I have try so many times and fall so many times but there is a famous quote by Gail Ly...

I wonder if you ever tell me why you don't want to see me? Why you refuse to have visitation? I wonder if you will tell me how we can work in our relationship? Is hard to know what I doing wrong  and to fix it if I don't know what was my mistake. What was the reason why you  say no I don't want to see her. I wish you can communicated with me to see how we can start over again I can't give up I can't just forget you like you where not my son like I never Love you my heart can stop loving you when you heart beat and my where sink together in one bit when i sow you the very first time I cry of happiness because you where so perfect I have four children not 3 why can't i be there for you  why I can't hug you, listen to you, know your reason baby boy i'm waiting on you to be ready to let me know what you have to say I'm here I'm here always be

In the day we all celebrate love I celebrate my love for you that not even the distance the time the people who pulls us apart can't stop this love I feel for you a love that can endure time challenges and trails I can still say to you I love you yesterday today and tomorrow for who you are and that is that .....                                                                                                 Love your MOM

Well I know you definitely didn't had school today, I hope you stay nice and warm inside making the most of your snow day you are so close to reach middle school know soon but if you keep having snow days it be July before your school vacations arrive i hope you keeping good grades and i hope you are being a good boy despite your situation. I will keep you in my prayers and like always in my heart know that i love you and i always will Willmael you are my baby blue love your Mom