The alienation interference
The where many moments in our visitations or phone call conversation that I realized your was interfering with us building a relationship. One of the many interference was a Christmas when time 8 years ago when I have send you a PNP Christmas message she said she didn't resive it but when on to make you her own. Also the moment when we wanted to let you know you were having a baby sister like you wanted she hang up and told you her self just not to let you have that moment with us. Also the transformer incident when she was asking me to buy a transformer toy over 100 when she keep saying you need it clothes also so after thinking about it I decided it was best to use that money for clothes rather than the toy call her and ask to take you shopping for the clothes you need it and she keep talking on the other side on the phone " ohh that's ok you can buy him just a sweet pants and sweet shirt from Walmart the are the cheapest" make it I sound like I didn't have much money to buy you anything else so no metter what if I would buy you the toy I was going to be wrong if I buy you the clothes I was going to be wrong because no matter what she was going to spin things to work for her. That was the moment that make me know we can't build a relationship with her always doing those things. The planets will never align on Marilyn Rivera universe, no metter what I'm the bad person who will never deserve any redemption or anything else in her books. I hope once my Son reach maturity he realized what's wrong with this picture after all he have live with her for all this time he have seen her ways and knows how she ticks. The moment he is ready I be right there waiting for us to get to build that relationship. But I know he got survival skills I remember still when after a good visit that we did by ourselves in the elevator he ask me not to say he was good because he knew that was not what she ask to keep that secret that how I know he will do what he have to survive but he knows is not right. I hope one day he sees this one day he will see dearies notes papers he will talk to his family and he will know I only didn't miss him on his birthdays or the holidays they will tell him it was all the time. He will ask to his brothers and his sister who I'm as a Mom as a person I never said I'm perfect but they know I love them with my all and I did the best of my abilities to bring them up and that I see them and love them for who they are individuals with their own choices, dreams and destinies. I hope my son Wilo one day give me that chance to know me for me not for what other people wants to project of me what other why to know the truth. There a saying that there is always 2 sides of the story but I invite you to see more then two you have there a whole side of family you can hear their sides of it and decide on what you find I also will like him to see all court documents so he can see time lines there is so much there. I think between his own experience with her papers and information from outside her cycle he can find his own conclusions.
Comments