Waiting for Willmael Delgado

Hello my handsome son i hope you are good and in good health enjoying your  winter break. I hope your grades are good and that you are working hard in school. Everything you do now for small as you see it are steps to your future so take slow but secure steps to where you see yourself in life five more years and you be 18 and start thinking of what you will like to do in life I'm going to be honest find out study make your way now to where you want to be don't rush to  life like there is no tomorrow remember you are the one making choices but sometimes is not only you who deal with the consequences                                                                                                             ...

 Is hard to say in new ways how much I miss you how that space today still empty and there is not filling it up because your that puzzle piece that will fill up that empty space in my hearth is so unique there no one like it in this planet. I will like to say again I'm here and i be here until the end of my days here for you here for when you need me you not alone there is this hole other part of your life that is not been made visual to you but is here for you. You are so wanted love and miss my baby blue.                                                                                    love mom                                                   ...

   Hello baby blue fall in on the air with the cold wind and the change of leaves and September is gone another year missing you this is some how one of the hardest times of the year for me it mark your birthday and the last time that i hug you talk to you and saw you in person. September is the time that i celebrate meeting that handsome face and falling in love with you even more and that i grieve the time and space between us your smile your voice that i imagine is changing now that you have become a teen i miss you baby blue  I will keep praying for you loving you and waiting here for you. I hope you are doing well in everything you do Te Amo Wilo ayer hoy y siempre con amor Mama

In every face i see to see if after all this time i will recognize you from all the people out there to see your handsome face with all the changes from a kid to a handsome young man my teen. I keep praying and sending you all my blessings and love i love you my Wilo you will always be my baby                                                                                                                love mom here is how we look this days

Today you are officially 13 OMG you are growing my baby blue. I wish you the most awesome birthday God bless you always i love you Willmael. I have been not writing but it does not mean i have not think of you pray for you and miss you. I have been feeling happy and sad and up and down. I'm happy you are growing and sad because i have miss so much. But i will continue to pray to God hopping he will listen to my cries. We can be far but this love will always be here for you my baby blue                                                                                                    love Mom

I always wonder how the family court system works i keep hearing (the best interest of the child) but what does that mean how much do you have how much are you already alienated from your child. When a therapist or the guardian ad litem  of the child can't not get a logical explanation of why the child does not want nothing to do with the other parent just a simple i don't want to talk about it don't they need to get to the bottom of why. I know why kids wanted some peace from all the drilling that been going on from the other end. like any other kid he just want to make it work so its stop  and it will only stop once he have chose once he have give what the other end wants. How is a parent suppose to wait for your child to contact you if that information is not facilitated this is how no matter where i go my number still the same there is not changing it 8 yrs and going because if he want to go to his file at family court he can get it and call and i be waiting for him. Bu...

This coming September you are not only going to be 13 is also going to be 4 years since the last time i sow you it makes my heart heavy to think is being this long and that i miss you everyday i hope you doing Good in everything your hearth and mind put effort to do. My Grandmother use to say this all the time "No hay mal que dure cien anos ni cuerpo que lo recista" there no sickness that last a hundred years nether body that will take it and in a blink of and eye you are going to be turning 13 omg my baby a teen                                                                                 I love you baby blue and i will always wait for you                                         ...

Hey Willmael hope you are doing good just wanted to let you know you be having a nice or nephew soon march 2017 but i hope February like Jojo and Keyshlanie the family is growing and we miss you we will pray for you all the way stay safe and make good choices baby blue                                                                                                                                                                                                                ...

To ask questions to get answers to get to know you and you get to know me not for others people opinions or ideas they have put on you or in me to give us a chance to have a relationship to move forward I  Love you know that i will always waait for you and i miss you  and i Will be here for when you are ready

    I know I'm not perfect I have made so many mistakes along the way, mistakes that will have a hole life  of consequences  things there are done and you can never change they happen the difference you can make is how can you move on from that. To start you got to admit you where wrong you made a mistake and trust me everybody does, some bigger some smaller but there no human that is perfect don't bet up yourself for it. Now comes the moment in witch you need to reflect how to go and repair what is done how one can amend or re build  some mistakes are pretty easy to deal with some others are the challenge of your life. Its not always easy to know how to go about it sometimes one tiny mistake can be inseparable some others can be an universe of big and all you need to do is say sorry and you be forgiven I think is because is not always about your prospective or how you so it its a little more than that  is how the other party so it and thrust me maybe somet...

While dealing with  alienation one of the most often cards used is interception I remember one message I send my son Willmael for X-mas from Santa Claus saying a message showing pictures of him with us   to my son I send it to his grand mother email so he can see it but of course she intercepted the video say it never work and made her own. In another occasion when I find out I was having a girl knowing he wanted a little sister I was so exited to tell him, and just when I was going to tell him she hang up the phone when they finally answer it my son reaction was yeah yeah yeah i know is going to be a girl, is does little stills or things that make interrelations  with your kid dull. I remember telling her I want to take him here so he can have fun and she will bring him first there i'm not talking about something she knew about it was something you have tell her is new and you will like to take him in your next outage with him. She will go as far of not answering the pho...

My first years in this journey I was trying so hard to be what ever the grandmother of my son wanted me to be but no matter what I did no mater how hard every single thing i did and do is was never right if I was living her son I was not good because I will give my son a stepdad some day if I stay with him it was in a abusive relationship that cut not be allowed to be with my son so you see I don't win . I didn't work i wasn't able to afford having my kid and i did i was going to neglecting him.If i was serious i was so gloom for him if i was to happy i was a crazy woman the where no making happy and it will never be because i'm not her but she wanted to be me my son mother instead of his grandmother.No matter what i will be always bash by her when you realize that you will understand not to stop being you because there is not pleasing. Another thing she will play everything against you if you refuse to do as exactly her step by step instructions you are a bad parent bu...

Well Willmael school is almost over again school vacation will soon start. I hope that you have success in every little or big thing you have done this year and remember to keep you head up and never give up you got this you can handle it. I hope you are making the best choices for you and that now the only validation you need is yours, you are reaching your teens so the pressure to fit in with friends and situations  can me you forget what in your heart and your mind you know it don't feel good make choices that make you proud where ever you are and remember everyone make mistakes that is nature is what you do to make it right. please know that i love you and that i'm all ears when you ready i want to know you so bad hope you are good and healthy                                                                  ...

While the days go on things change we go forward with our daily lives there will be always things that won't change for an alienated parent while this paper on court says i have to wait until you want to contact me  and it always hit me yeah grandma is so going to facilitated that i keep this thing the same my number is in record in court just ask for your name file in custody files Springfield family court never changes you can email me to here i be waiting and keeping this things at list the same so when you are ready

I love you and for me loving you it don't take any conditions you don't have to love me back you don't have to chose a side you don't have to change who you are there is not rules of what not to do for me to love you there is no time limit there is nothing but love for you and your brothers and sister life is showing me that

when I was ask how many kids i have wish are 4 and what are their ages i say 20, 18, 12 going to 13 and one that will be 5 in about a month got me thinking holly cow my babies are growing this year you be 13 and in only 5 more years he be 18 and Emely  5 be 18 in 13 more years and I look at it like nothing because not long ago I had Jay and Josh and they are all grown up and what it seen a blink of an eye i keep saying my babies but i have no babies no more    I love you all no matter what love mom

Lots of times I open this blog with the intention of writing to you and I know I sound like a broken record Willmael Mommy loves you, miss you and wait for you. It's is time to say I want to know you time have pass and I know life experiences are molding you i want to know who Willmael is in school with friends reach to you and see who you are to listen to observe. I take what ever you give me all i wanted to know is you. I'm here to listen and when you ready just reach to me i keep the same number is in your records 03p2417 and again I love you Wilo...

Time is going by and missing you some days are harder than others time is passing by and i feel we are strangers as it goes but time bring hope to while time passes i keep hoping you get curious about things and start your own findings your own truth                                         Love you Mom

I have been ask or told ,you want to take him from me. I have take that to consideration since before you where born she ask me not to go with my family to move away from the bad relationship with your father so I can move close to my father and get his support with my kids from family. Your grandmother Marilyn participated in appointments, preparations for your arrival and even birth. I made her part of it because no matter what she is your grandmother in a lots of moments she have been re affirm even if the relationship with her son was to concluded i didn't have no intentions of not letting her in your life the same as my two oldest family they always knew where i was and how to  get in contact  with them always. She knows i don't know how to be that kind of way and she toke advantage of it now i ask myself she ask for consideration but where was mine when i ask to give my baby to me to let me see you to let me have a relationship with you i lost my mind when she toke you a...

The reasons i started this blog was 1 to let you know i'm here and i will always be here for you, 2 that we love you no matter what is between us, the distance, people you are Love Willmael from lots of people that keep you in their hearts, 3 to put not only in pages this message and hope so how it reaches you, 4 to blow as a steam weasel when my heart is overwhelm.5 So i can grave  not being a part of your life. But no matter what i have faith in God and what ever he got plan for us. I just hope one day you can tell me what i did wrong for you not wanting me to have visits with you why you don't wanted to see me, see us i hope one day you can open up we be here ready to listen                                                                                       ...

Hello Willmael hope you are doing good I'm here for you and i will always be you are on my prayers every day and in my heart.I just wanted to remind you that i'm here waiting until you are ready we miss you i miss you don't you worried about anything that had happen we just here for you and that all that meter love is like that

In 1998 i was just 18 and about to have my second boy. Josh who i call my teddy bear he is the sweetest of my boys always giving hugs and kisses also very stubborn and in need to make his own mind and decisions on his own separating other people opinions. Never the less he is he and i love him regardless of time  he will be always be one of my boys given by God to me for a reason. and here 18 years later we have been thru thick and thin the good and the bad and i got to say when you love your kids you will forget wait fight smile cry pray and wait  you do it all for the love that never goes away. tomorrow he will be 18 be he will be always my meat ball with his giggles that same little human been i hold in my arms and for ever in my hearth. I always wanted a girl since day one but today i can not see my life with out my boys they made me better. Never regrets my kids but if i can give them a advice get to know yourself first then figure out what you need out of a partner date ...

When I was young and living life like I have only a few years to live and I was in the believe I knew it all but not clue of what the decisions and consequences will bring me I made huge life changing decisions I was a run away I didn't wanted to be with my mother and my father was just starting to settle in united states  trying to look for a better outcome for all of us. But I didn't want to deal with it my mother with her aggressive outburst got me to think he was not coming back for me and I was stuck there  so I ran way with friends in that time I me a 24 year old who is the father of your 2 oldest brothers I was just turning 16 and I was pregnant in my mind that was the only way I get to belong somewhere  and it change my life for ever I pass from being a kid to being an adult with no idea of what that will bring your brothers father was cut in a stolen car with a friend and some other things he end up going to jail I end up alone pregnant and with no idea what to d...

If you are in this boat you will know you will be thinking of your children at times like this when everyone is sleeping and the silent strikes when you see a kid your child age when you go into a store and see thinks you think he /she  may like when holidays birthdays and everyday is beginning  and ending you wondering about him/her. Love those not vanish just because  they are out of site pain does not stop because you stop crying at all times. We become wanderers of what have become of this loves ones of ours. Don't ever give up hope love does never quit.